The road to recovery

12 days have gone by since the miscarriage. The first few days were the worst, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, I couldn't understand why it had happened and I couldn't accept the fact that my baby...the baby we've been so looking forward to was history now.

You know how emotions can overwhelm u until u cant control them? Well i didn't experience that overwhelming feeling. All I had was a snap on reaction that would leave me in tears just like that...no warning, no control. It got to a point where my family didn't wanna leave me alone. I saw a doc and was given some relaxants to help me with my depression.

I lost my appetite and I just felt this void within me. I told a few good friends what had happened via SMS, then went radio silent on them. I couldn't bear to talk to anyone, and I asked for their understanding to give me time and space to recover.

My family was my pillar of strength...I don't think i could have handled it without them. I don't think I could be sitting here, sharing my thoughts with you at this point if not for them. I'ld probably still be in the throes of sadness, rather than learning to accept what had happened,

I'm still on medication now, and I still have mood swings. Sometimes I feel perfectly normal, but then I would think of the baby and go quiet, but at least the tears don't flow that easily anymore.

I still have my fears, my reservations and this pain which I'm not sure would ever go away, but I know that life will go on. I've told friends that I will not get over this loss, but I know I'll learn to cope with it. I still have hopes that my baby will have a sibling in the near future. Even though the bunlet was with us for a mere 7weeks, he was my baby and he was loved.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad